How to look distinguished

Last Updated on Thursday, 24 March 2011 21:54 Thursday, 24 March 2011 21:15

Distinguished - Successful, authoritative, and commanding great respect. Wouldn't it be nice to look that way? When somebody says distinguished man to us, we immediately think of the senior gentleman who's seen the ways of the world, has a lot of secrets that radiate off him in that all knowing smile and is polite and gentlemanly to the people he meets. That's because he knows he could have them disappear via some murky contacts, the phone numbers to which he keeps locked in his study safe.

He is well off and knows senior business and political figures. He's spent a lifetime building contacts and networking and has a raft of deals done through which he's grown his financial empire. He doesn't get his hands dirty usually, but if the need arises he proves an adversary that can surprise you with his ferocity and determination. Perhaps as he gets older, he's begins to wonder about his mortality, about the skeletons in his closets and decides to make amends.

So you're a thirty something guy. Let's face it. You ain't never going to look truly distinguished because that only comes with age. No wrinkles, no scars, no deep set eyes that tell the take of too many lates nights networking. But you can grab some of the manners and characteristics of the distinguished gentleman which will help in shaping you into an altogether more refined man who doesn't require brute force and hoarse shouting to get his point across. There are two aspect - the look and mannerisms.

The distinguished look.

The distinguished look falls into two categories.

A) The distinguished business look can be caried off with an impeccable suit that is sharply ironed and pressed. A starched white or contrast shirt is worn and shirt cuffs require cuff links - not hideous buttons. Shoes are polished to a fine buff, nails are clipped to perfection, hair neatly in place. Vulgar items like mobile phones are kept concealed, not attached to the belt. An analogue watch is a must have, as is one's own pen, carried discreetly in an interior jacket pocket. There should be nothing brash nor loud about the way you look. The distinguished look for business is not so much in the suit that you wear, but how you accessorize it. When choosing items to wear, think subtle but impressive touches. Like a windsor tie knot, leather strap to the watch, leather belt, silk tie and classy cuff links. A plain black umbrella and wool overcoat for rainy days wouldn't go amiss either. Hard to look distinguished if you are soaking wet. Gloves, of the dark leather variety, are a must have for cold days as is a scarf. We'd prefer to stay away from hats because they mess up your hair, unless they are an absolute must (i.e. your business meeting is in Alaska. In winter.)

B)The second distinguished look veers more towards the non-business gentleman. Perhaps retired or on a day of leisure, the requirements for a business suit have vanished. In it's place is something more leisurely but still refined. Think open neck shirt with a pullover and sports jacket. Matching pants and shoes complement, but jeans would never be worn. The watch, belt and pen are still a must-have, but lose the cuff links and ties.

The Distinguished Mannerisms.

Just as important as dressing the part, is acting the part. You can put on the most expensive suit you got but it just ain't gonna work if you insist on maintaining your uncouth manners and nervous tick that sees you blushing bright red and winking with one eye when somebody addresses you as 'Sir'.So here are a few key mannerisms common to the distinguished look.

1. You know more than they do. But you never,ever need to say it. You relay same to whomever you speak with by nodding quietly, as if what they're saying is something you're extremely familiar with, something you somehow had prior knowledge of. But do not interrupt. Give them a knowing smile, not a smug, arrogant smirk. And let them finish. It would be rude to interrupt.

2. Don't always answer immediately. Every once in a while it's worth pausing before responding to a question. As if you were considering the merits of a course of action or pondering something far in advance of what what was said. Then make a considered, short reply.

3. Laugh but don't guffaw. A gently laugh or smile is the way of the distinguished gentleman. Collapsing in fits of laugher because Two and a Half Men is on is a big no-no. Because when sitcoms are on, you should be in your study reading or engaging in gentlemanly pursuits like a stiff drink with other like minded men. Pipes are OK as are cigars. If you must smoke cigarettes, don't dare do something as common as carry the packet - have a slim cigarette case with ten cigarettes. Nobody needs to know you're hooked on 40 a day and it takes you half an hour to stop spitting phlegm in the morning.

4. Get a pair of reading glasses. Even if you don't need them get fake ones. When asked to sign something, pull them out and make a show of putting them on, perhaps while squinting at the document in front of you. Or get string and hang them around your neck. Make sure to pause while reading and peer over the top of the glasses at others. Ask an intelligent question and frown at the answer. If you need to make a point, remove the glasses and use them to point at the other person or wave around while you speak.

5. Don't be mean. Distinguished gentlemen are not mean. They don't pass crude comments at the waitress, curse or tell jokes about the French.

6. You're in charge. Things happen because of you. Even when you should be the 'second' in command, such as when the bank manager calls you in over your finances, make it so that you are in command. In your own head, your finances are in dire straights because building a world empire was never going to be easy and the bank manager is a trifling annoying in his attitude. But you'll go in all smiles and confidence because you know this is something that must be overcome in your secret plan to dominate the financial world. You'll reminisce about this some day.

7. When you can, support a charity. It's a great way of networking and shows you are not completely a prick. Plus, who'll ever suspect your dodgy financial dealings when you are a most generous sponsor to some charity. And you'll be helping others.

8. Learn to converse in a clear, friendly and concise manner. Be businesslike when the need arises, but patient and understanding when required. Most of all, learn to listen. Keep up to date on current affairs, politics, business and your hobbies, but do not - ever - start conversations based around celebrities.