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Combining work, family and social life.  With the ever increasing pace of modern life, it can be hard to jungle your commitments to family, work and socializing. The topic is well documented in women’s literature, but to date very little attention has been paid to the male side of the equation. Men are often the primary workers of the modern family unit and in today’s equality environment are expected to help around the house and mind the kids in the evening. Nothing wrong with that per se, but often the traditional responsibilities and heavy work are heaped on top - house repairs, painting, shelving, gardening. It all combines into a hefty workload and can lead to increased stress levels in males. Without taking a real look at where we spend our time, we can be left with little to no 'me' time. And that is a bad thing.
So how do we balance the demands of work, family and social life? It can be a difficult balancing act and the first place we must start is having a talk with our partner. Tackling the issue alone means we are ignoring the very real demands of our better half to help out more. It is not simply nagging. There is no reason why our partner should be left to maintain the home that we all share. Equally it must be recognized that heavy manual work must be done by someone and that it affects time we can spend doing other chores. By working out a real plan of action with our partners it is possible to increase the amount of time we can dedicate to one area, without affecting our responsibilities in other areas of life. With so many demands upon our resources, it can be difficult to see where we can free up some time. But it not necessarily true that cutting time from one means we are neglecting it. It’s a good idea as always to sit down and scribble on paper. Where are you most requiring additional time? And where are you spending too much time? What are our goals and how much time do we dedicate to achieving them?  As with most things in relationships, this issue cannot be tackled in isolation. The very first step you must take is to talk seriously with your partner. Often we communicate by moaning and grumbling about the work we must do, or the shelves we must put up or the gutters we must clean - but we fail to get our message across that what we're really saying is we have a workload we can't handle. Or that we feel stressed by the list of things on our mental 'to do' list. And in verbalizing this to your partner, you make the issue real and present rather than a continuous moan that could be just part of your background noise.
One area we can always look at is our job and work. Particularly if you are self-employed, it is likely that much of your work day is spent doing hundreds of tasks. Delegation is key. As a business grows there are more areas you can delegate. When you work for yourself you need to manage your time - and a business. There is no need for you to do every single task, and taking a good hard look at your time spent doing tasks others could be doing will yield time. After all that’s what you pay them for! Even if you have no employees, outsourcing work is another option and one that could deliver cost savings to you. How much do you charge for yourself per hour? Can you get a book-keeper to do the accounts for you? Is that cheaper than your hourly rate? Then do so, and spend some of the time you saved chasing sales leads instead. The other half of your time, you can re-direct into another area of your life. For chores around the house consider hiring in outside help. Gardening can be done by students seeking extra money, nephews and nieces, sons and daughters. Gardening services can be hired on a weekly or once off basis. What about installing a low maintenance garden with lots of pebbles and paving, rockeries and low maintenance shrubs rather than time intensive grass and flower beds? The key when dealing with time is spending it efficiently. And it’s a very real commodity. When you hire a tradesman, they normally charge by the hour. And that’s the attitude you must take to your time as well. So when we spend time doing a task that can be done cheaper by someone else, we are literally wasting our time. Time is a finite resource. There are 24 hours in a day and only 24 hours in a day. Most men complain of not having enough time with their families, or spending too much time with the family and not enough working at jobs that need doing. If you have children that are old enough, include them in the chores that you do. It can be a great bonding process, as long as you don't turn into a military dictator with control issues when it comes time to paint the house or put up shelves. They must enjoy it and take pride in their work as well! Not you're work, their work! Our sleeping patterns can also yield some spare time. Rather than staying up late and having difficulty rising in the morning, it is far easier to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. Our bodies are more in tune that way. Even rising an hour earlier every day means an extra two weeks every year to do as we please! So instead of doing the washing in the evening, tackle it first thing in the morning and use the hour in the evening where you really need it. Most of all remember that the easiest way we can manage time is to manage it like money. Some things you cannot price (like time with loved ones) but with other areas be ruthless with wasted time and cut it from your schedule. You will find spare time leaps out at you if you go looking it.
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