Tyra Banks has a lot to answer for. As a model she was fine. Pretty hot too. But then things went downhill. She choose to inflict a weekly hour long show on us. The rationale for the show centered on having young wannabe models going through their paces to win a 'top prize'. Which sounds just fine until the process was revealed to be desperate models pulling different faces for the camera and crying about the stress of it. Conversely if Tyra smiled at them they giggled and cried anyway. As if they had just been touched by The One.

2009 saw designers slimming us mentally and forcing us into skinny jeans. Skinny jeans are now sooo last year. Luckily we held out, ate beef and refused to wedge ourselves into items of clothing that made us look like we could waddle and topple at the same time.

We thought he'd keep her from singing. We thought she'd stop him ringing granddads live on air and boasting to them of banging their nieces. We thought the pair would be good for us, kind of like a bad+bad would be equal to a good thing.  The way you multiply a minus and a minus and magically get a plus. That their hyperactive personalities would be so engaged in each other that they would fade out of the limelight.

Normally we fuss a lot over these advisory alerts. We know that issuing one means that a forthcoming event will see man having his lifestyle impaired to some degree and we hate being the bringers of bad news. But alas, they are a necessary evil.