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We all have stress. Everyday life brings with it stress.
The dictionary definition of stress is "A specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism."
How do stop worrying and carrying the baggage of stress? Why is it some of us can handle stress, and the next man breaks under it? It’s to do with our conditioning and the way we deal with our worries. Some of us have a great attitude to life’s troubles. Others take them to heart and fail to deal with them.  The first thing we must do is to accept that we will have stress. Work pressures, family pressures and money troubles are all part of life and very few get to enjoy life unfettered by them. By accepting that we will have these troubles, we're already putting up a mental barrier to the stress they invoke.
Stress can often be caused by not being able to deal with these problems. Take the stress caused by not having enough money. Rather than stressing about it, we can instead set about tackling the problem. There are two ways to allievate stress. One is mentally erase the problems from our mind. This is only a temporary meaure and one that will bring a greater stress on later in our life. The second is do deal with the root cause of the stress. That means looking at better paid jobs, maybe lowering our standards about what type of job we'll accept, widening our search for job or even negotiating with people we owe money to for lower repayments over a longer period, or a holiday for those payments while we get back on our feet. It is only by actively tackling the causes that we truly alleviate the stress. Very few problems disappear of their own accord. In nearly all instances something happens that makes them go away. Either we or somebody else takes action to tackle them. Accept what you cannot change One of the hardest things we must do in life is accepting what we cannot change. People we love will use drugs. They will drink to excess. They will choose paths that we don't agree with, or are doomed to failure. We must accept that we cannot do everything for everyone, much as we would like to. Having tried our best, we must sometimes accept that things are beyond our control. Losing a loved one is always a terrible process. It hurts like hell, and can cause a great sense of loss and despair, particularly if the loss is unexpected and sudden. Grieving is a natural process of coming to terms with this loss and the duration varies from person to person. But at some stage, we must accept this loss, and accept that for now, there is nothing we can do to bring that person back. We have to move on, no matter how sore it might be to do so. Get out and get reality.  Stress can be amplified by our thought processes. Most of us berate ourselves mentally over our failings and under accomplishments. It is a fact that we are our own worst critics. That process can be amplified when we withdraw from the normal run of life. When we fail to mingle and socialize, we become focused on the stress and worries so that it becomes a vicious circle. Sometimes the best thing we can do to deal with stress, is to get out and into the sunlight. Get amongst your friends and family. Often talking to them can put things in perspective. When we go through rough patches we lose sight that that is all they are - patches. That there is an 'after' and the problem won't last forever. Friends and family can put this into context for us with their own past experiences. You are extremely unlucky if you are the only person that has ever faced a situation before. Millions are likely to be in the same boat as you. Make use of their knowledge and support - either though face to face contact or perhaps forums and support websites. There are support groups for everything these days. Use them. Do not ignore the services of a qualied therapist. If you're leg was hurting you'd see a doctor. If you're mind is hurting see a therapist.
Excercise can be another great way for alievating stress. The key is it removes us from the problem at hand, focuses our mind elsewhere and can dissipate a lot of the nervous energy associated with stress. Mediatation can also work wonders. The common thread amongst all these is seeking time out from the problem at hand and putting it into context. Loss of Face We often do not tackle the cause of our stress because of a fear of loss of face. We are afraid we will lose face amongst friends, family, associates, competitor’s and people in general. You know what? People talk. They bitch and they moan. And no matter what you do, they are going to gossip and moan anyway. So stop worrying about it and focus your energies on your own problems. If that involves the loss of support of your friends or co-workers - then they were never true friends. We always find out who our real friends are in the toughest of times. Forget about them, forget about their petty gossiping and instead rise above it. Not only will you emerge a stronger and better individual, you'll be surprised at how many offers of help you'll receive along the way. People love helping the underdog. Accept help when it’s offered. Look for solutions, not consequences. Finally we all have problems. What most of us need to do is look for solutions rather than focusing on the problem. Not enough money? Our focus should be on finding a way to make more. Not on the consequences of not having enough. Feeling fat and depressed? Focus on how to eat more healthily and lifting your spirits. Don't re-enforce a negative cycle of thoughts by focusing on the consequences. |
