Valentines Day
Last Updated on Saturday, 25 July 2009 09:22 Wednesday, 11 February 2009 13:00
Ah, Valentine’s Day, the macho male’s favourite time of year. Not!
Valentines originates from St. Valentine and little is known about the man except that he was buried north of Rome on February 14th. The most believed story is that he refused to deny his faith before the pagan Roman Emperor Claudius who then had him executed around 260-280AD. Again, whether this is true is unknown. Other stories believe that he left a note to his jailer's daughter signed 'from your Valentine' before his execution hence the start of the Valentine’s craze. There are also several St. Valentines around the world however in 1836, remains identified as a particular St. Valentine’s were donated by Pope Gregory XVI to Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland where they are carried to the alter on February 14 every year and venerated.
Therefore, with some degree of certainty, we can say that men have now been annoyed with this festival for 1,729 years at a minimum and there is no sign of it going away yet. Technically, you could inform your loved one that you will not be celebrating Valentines this year as a feast of love, but will be dressing in black and fasting as a sign of mourning for the martyr Valentine. We accept no responsibility however if this ends in your own unfortunate execution.
Thankfully, Valentines is more gender neutral these days meaning many females will also exert effort into planning something for their man. Yet, men are still expected to put in the greater effort with romantic meals, fine wines and sumptuous chocolates for starters only. Main courses may involve weekends away, surprise
holidays or even (groan) marriage proposals. Here at ThugVillage, we aim to make the process as stress free as possible with our top Valentine weekend tips.
1. Chocolate. What girl doesn't like chocolate? You can go for the mass produced box of chocolates though our choice is for quality here. Try your local confectionary for those fresh, real chocolate made treats that come in a specially presented box with a bow. It shows and demonstrates effort on your part. If you wish to taste some later, its better to buy extra as your girl will not be sharing hers with you.
2.Flowers. Its well known that the price of flowers increases the closer it gets to Valentine's day. If money is tight, buy a bunch of flowers at least a week in advance and keep them alive with plenty of light, fresh water and plant food. Extras include delivery by courier to her work place or a personal delivery by yourself accompanied by a singing barbershop quartet. Alternatively, present her with a packet of flower seeds so she can grow her own next year. If she's a hippy, the green environmental theme will win her over.
3. Drink. For men, this is simple, cheap beer perfectly fine for all occasions. For girls, the occasion demands something different. If you have a bit of money, splash out on some champagne, otherwise stick to some wine. If you don’t know whether she’d prefer red or white, you’re probably celebrating Valentines with the wrong girl.....
4. A Meal. Any girl who doesn't get taken for a meal on Valentines, will be like a witch on speed so you'd better take care of this option carefully. If you're going to book a restaurant, do so well in advance as most eateries are booked solid for Valentines beforehand. And yes, Men ALWAYS pay for the meal on Valentine's day no matter how much she may pretendingly protest. The true Lothario’s might try and cook a romantic meal for two at home, all the better to impress her with. Be warned however, that this is a minefield - we’ve all heard the horror stories of men cooking steak for their vegetarian girlfriend while presenting her with burnt main courses, watery soup and non-existent desserts will represent nothing more that a symbolic presentation of your love for her (so she’ll say...)
5.Amore. Ah, yes, for men, the physical point of a silly Valentine's date, for women an optional extra they may choose to grant to a well behaved suitor. Chocolates, fine wines, meals and flowers all presented in the right way will sweep any girl off their feet. Mars bars, flower seeds, takeaway pizza and fizzy beer will have you sleeping alone for weeks. As they say, the ‘choice’ is yours!
